«The biggest mistake is to live through your spouse and imagine that your happiness depends on him or her.»
«An insensitive person thinks that his or her happiness is the responsibility of the spouse.»
If you believe that it is the other person’s responsibility to meet all your needs and make you happy, you are thinking like a child.
Indeed, according to Ehn, it is common for people to look to their spouse as a good parent – the safe mother or father they never had.
6.
It’s true that change doesn’t always make things better. For example, Marjo Ehn says that it is all too easy to get divorced when the initial desire to be independent disappears and it is time to move on.
«It’s sad, because you can get through the separation phase together.»
It is also true that sometimes you get better with a change. For example, if there is emotional or physical violence in the relationship and the partner is not interested in improving the relationship, it is usually wisest to divorce.
«Staying in a bad relationship has no value. Breaking up can be painful and inconvenient, but you just have to see the pain.»
