Psychologist defends controversial alternating housing: ‘Child-parent relationship can even be strengthened after separation’




Divorcing parents feel guilty that they were unable to give their children a childhood in an intact family. Guilt is a good thing to feel,» says Mattila.

«Guilt guides you to notice the needs of others and to remedy the situation, to give your children support. But unreasonable guilt can turn into shame, which is crushing and helps no one.

Instead of drowning in guilt, we should be able to think about what I can do now, in this situation, to make the children’s lives as good as possible.

«Divorce is often such a big crisis that it is worth seeking help to deal with the emotions. Seeking professional help doesn’t mean you can’t cope, but it can make that coping much more bearable.»