According to a well-known parenting rule, it’s up to parents to disappoint their children. Is this true?
«You don’t have to consciously arrange disappointments, everyday life offers enough of them for your child,» says Janna Rantala.
«It’s wise to play a variety of games: those where the child is superior and those where the adult is better. In memory games, for example, children usually always win.»
You can also refuse a running race
A child is going to a friend’s birthday party. He knows that there will be a running race and tells his parents that he refuses to take part. The parents know that the child is a hothead. If he lost, he would probably have a spectacular tantrum. So the parents announce that the child will skip the race.
Did the parents do the right thing? Should the child be encouraged to compete, even if he or she is afraid of losing?
«I think the parents did the right thing. If a child says he or she doesn’t want to run, it’s worth respecting their wishes – especially if they are going to a birthday party without their parents to comfort them if they lose,» says Janna Rantala.
What would be the worst thing that could happen if you lost? What would change if you won?
But it’s worth discussing with your child why he or she finds it so difficult to compete.
What would happen if he lost?
What would change if he won?
